The Beauty Of Marriage: The Wife

Hello Ladies! If you haven't read my other post about marriage that talks about The Husband you can read it here. It was meant to be read together with this post.

Ok so on to what I want to talk about in this post. I wanted to highlight a few  things  about the beautiful thing God did in creating the woman/wife. This is by no means exhaustive but I'd just like to share what God has placed on my heart with you.

After making Adam, God had put him to sleep and took his rib with which he made Eve, his wife. You can read it in Genesis 2:18,21-23. However, we know that God had intentions to give man/Adam a mate since He himself declared that a man(mankind) should not be alone.

God specifically said that He will make for Adam(man), a help meet for him(Genesis 2:18). Or in other words, a help that was suitable,complementary, fit for, adapted to him.There he was with all the animals and while naming them he realized that they all had a male and female, but there was just him, all by himself. Genesis 2:20- And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

It's interesting how it says there was not 'found' an help meet for him or someone like himself. This tells me that he was looking. You can't find something if you're not looking for it. You must be seeking it to find it. Ladies we must wait on our husbands to find us. Now Adam did not know where Eve was until God brought her to him, but he was already looking for her. Now God knew that he would be looking. He himself placed that desire in Adam. 

In waiting to be found we can still enjoy our life and get busy with what God has ordained for us to do. You can befriend gentlemen, yes, but leave the pursuit to them. God placed that specifically in them to pursue us. If you see someone you like, there's no sin in praying about him and asking God if he's the one. Just let God place it in his heart as to when the right time is to pursue you. It may be that he is the right person but it may not be the right time. We can also make a mess of things when we don't wait on God. God's timing is always perfect.

Case in point. If Rebecca had waited on God she could have spared her sons Jacob and Esau, and herself, (she never saw her son again after that), a lot of grief. Just as when God stopped Abraham when he was about to kill Isaac, He could have stopped Isaac from blessing Esau as well. After all, God was the one that visited her and told her the older would serve the younger. God sometimes shows us things because He delights to let His servants know what's going to happen (Amos 3:7). Often times, however, we think we have to help God when He really does not need anything from man.

If it's God's will, waiting on him will set everything in perfect order and there will be no heartache or pain during the process. If He does not instruct us to do something, then we know He will bring everything into alignment in due season. If we are thinking to do something that is already expressly against God's will, like lying, stealing, or otherwise deceptive practices, we know we are not being led by God.What a lifetime of heartache Jacob endured for not waiting on God. We can avoid similar pain by allowing God to tell us what, when, where, how, who etc.

Not the direction I was thinking to go but The Holy Spirit needed us to get that. Alright moving right along.

Okk so God brings Eve to Adam and he is so awestruck he declares her to be one with him. His rib, his bone, his flesh. He was in love! Yes!! Hallelujah! He actually knows that she is his on the first time meeting her!! Did you catch that?! 

But what exactly was to be her role of significance in his life?

Now we all know the Proverbs 31 woman. Right? If you don't know her then you can check it out in Proverbs 31:10-31. I know many women express a desire to be like her and for good reason. When you read the account of who this woman is you are blown away by the dimensions to which a woman can reach and the all around influence she can have. She is a mover and shaker in her own right.

Now ladies, I just would like to tell you that we all have to start somewhere. Some of us did not have the proper instruction as a child and/or young woman and sometimes the best training without love and affection can turn us against our purpose because of the way it was carried out, regardless of the good intentions of the teacher. BUT. A big but. God can and will teach all who are willing. He says in Psalms 32:8, "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye. I don't know the history of this Proverbs 31 woman but I know God has a place for ALL of His daughters and He will teach us and guide us in the way we should go, IF we allow Him. When you ask God for something in sincerity be prepared to receive the answer because He WILL answer!

Right now I'm still going through this pruning process of preparation for my calling and for my marriage because God wants to launch me and my spouse to much greater things. Is it difficult? Yes! Mostly because sometimes I neglect to submit all the way to God's leading. But I am confident that even that I will overcome as God has helped me to overcome many other things in my life.

God will show us everything we need to know about becoming a Godly and virtuous woman. He won't overwhelm us. He will take us step by step whether it be learning how to cook and organize our household, disciplining and loving our children, taking time to develop our minds and keep on learning and studying not just for our children and husband ,but for ourselves as well as our neighbors. God expects that as women we would affect the lives of EVERYONE we come in contact with. Its NEVER just about us and fulfilling our desires and needs. God will set us up so we can be a spectacle to the world! The world MUST see and know through our lives who God is and it is important that we submit to God in all things. Everything will prosper when we fully commit to His process and His leading.

What is the definition of a virtuous woman according to the Bible?? Again this isn't meant to be an exhaustive study but a guide, help and encouragement to you all.

Let's take a look at what the scripture has to say.

1) Her husband "safely trusts in her so that he shall have no need of spoil " Prov 31:11. This doesn't just refer to wastefulness but it's all encompassing. Are you someone whom your husband can trust without worrying that he will have to clean up the mess you made of things? Can he leave things in your hands and be confident that you are up to and fit for the task? If he took sick or had to travel would you be able to handle things while he recuperates or before he returns or would you panic and get in a state of confusion, leaving a greater load on his shoulders? Are you dependable? Can you provide the assistance that he needs when it's needed or will you depend on him to do everything?

2) "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."Prov 31:12 I couldn't cut that one short. That right there is a loaded statement! Are you the get even type? Will you exact vengeance on your husband because he's less than perfect and maybe his tone with you was a bit rough so you withhold affection or sex from him? Will you refuse to cook or do his laundry or whatever it is that he likes you to do, because you are still holding whatever offense he committed against him or will you be patient and forgiving? A virtuous woman will not be exacting or punish her husband because of his weaknesses. She will hide his flaws from others and make only the best of him known to others including family. Can you rise to this challenge and decide that you will be a continual blessing to him? 

3) She is NOT lazy. Prov 31:14-19 This woman works so that all the needs of her home are met. I have to admit that I have struggles with this sometimes but I am still a work in progress, thank God.
 She seeks "wool and flax", "works willingly with her hands", "brings her food from far", gives to her household and maidens", "considers a field and buys it", "her candle goes not out by night", "she lays her hands to the spindle". This woman is entrepreneurial. She knows a good business deal when she sees one but she also does her research and learns what she needs to know to stay current and abreast of changes.She will get what she needs whatever it takes and no matter how far she has to go to get it. And all in a legitimate and legal way. I had to put that in there because there are some conniving and wicked women like Jezebel, who seem to get whatever they want even if they have to use unscrupulous means to obtain it. But, alas, I digress. With all of this her household does NOT suffer. She can manage her time well, she knows when to give up on an idea and which idea to pursue. She is balanced so one thing does not affect or take away from the other. This woman has "maidens". She knows how to garner her own wealth so that her husband does not worry about her survival if something should happen to him. She knows how much she can handle and does not overwhelm herself. Seems like a very tall order to fill. But with God all things are possible. One day at a time and one step at a time it can be accomplished.

4) She is KIND AND GENEROUS. "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor" Prov 31:20 In all her getting , she does not forget her responsibility to those less fortunate than herself, the needy and homeless, orphaned and widowed. She is kind and generous in spirit. Is it all about ourselves even now? Maybe God hasn't blessed some of us because we are constantly thinking of ourselves and our family. Maybe we need to open up to others more and allow God to soften our hearts towards others. In blessing us God requires us to be a blessing to others as well.

5) She is intentional and Industrious. Her mode of dress is respectable, tasteful and royal. "She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." Prov 31:21,22 She makes sure her children are well taken care of including well dressed for all the appropriate seasons. She even makes her own clothing. If it can be done, she can and will do it. If she must learn a trade to make it more feasible or less expensive for her family's survival, she will do it.

6) She is her OWN INDIVIDUAL "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders..." Prov 31:23 Although it says her husband is known in the gates it's really not so much about him as it is about her. In a society that valued women below men and not as worthy as even children she was highly esteemed by her husband. But besides that, the virtuous woman makes such a name for herself that her husband benefits tremendously from her being his wife. She makes him look good and everyone can see that she is a blessing to him. She is not his clone, she doesn't walk in his shadow and she respects her husband in the presence of everyone including friends and family.

8) Her reputation precedes her. Prov 30:31 "...and let her own works praise her in the gates." Her work, her contributions to society, her accomplishments all speak for themselves. They tell the story of who this woman is and many want to meet her or to be associated with her from what they've learned of her by word of mouth. 

7) She FEARS GOD. Prov 31:30 Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. This attribute actually comes before the previous one mentioned above in this particular scripture but I wanted to reinforce it by putting it last. The virtuous woman FEARS GOD. Hands down. No doubt. She lives by His word. She walks with Him making Him her constant companion. She knows what it means to be an obedient servant of God and she is not ashamed of Him. She, as well as everyone knows it, and they are convinced that this is the secret of her "success". It's not her beauty which changes with time, or her intelligence, her skill or her background.


We are all a work in progress, ladies. This was not meant to highlight our inadequacies or shortcomings but to help us understand the role that women, mothers, wives play. Often, we over romanticize marriage but it takes real work, constant commitment everyday, including the days when you have no spirit within you to keep going. We must keep our focus on what God has called us to be to our husbands and children and also to our neighbors and society at large. It's always about JESUS! NEVER about us. When we realize our call is actually to serve God on every available platform, we will have a deeper understanding of our role. It's a privilege, not a right. We weren't meant to sit as pretty princesses to be pampered and petted, (there will be time for that),but to take charge and rule as queens. Lets rise up in the strength that God has given us and serve "as unto the Lord", (Eph 5:22)
I encourage you to let God be your instructor and faithful guide as you prepare to be all that He has called you to be.

PRAYING FOR YOU!

A woman's Place! Love you ladies!